Tiger Mom Vs Dino Mom : Where do you stand?

A friend of mine recently shared this interesting post by a fellow blogger -

Tiger mom - to be or not to be | Blog Post by Tanu Shree Singh | two boys and a mad mum | mycity4kids

Reading the post made me smile. I've read the famous "Battle hymn of the tiger mom" book. Its a fun read and talks about one perspective of parenting. But when it comes to parenting, it's hard to say what is right and what is wrong. Parenting is highly subjective.

 




My parents were never strict with us as far as academics/sports/extra curriculars were concerned. Frankly they did not care as long as they were not getting any complaints. They did not push us unnecessarily. Our cable connection was not disconnected during exams, our parents did not make us burn the midnight oil, or push us to attend 1000 classes like sports and performing arts and tuitions.

But I guess I did not need pushing. I was a good student (never came first but was always top 5), very active in extra curriculars, the teacher's pet and popular at school. Out of my own choice I took judo, swimming, theater, dance, cooking, language and singing classes. Never really excelled in anything to make it a career, but was happy to dabble and enjoy.

I feel good that I wasn't forced to only study or pushed hard for sports etc. But I do wish, a little, that my parents pushed me harder to try to come first, to learn to play a music instrument, to hone some skill/art, and definitely be interested in sports (I'm zero in sports). I was always a chilled out girl who was more of a smart worker than a hard worker. And since I always did well at school, no one complained or bothered. I was content and so were my parents so things stayed status quo. But I feel a little pressure from them would have gone a long way into getting me to get out of my comfort zone and try harder, and God knows what I could have, would have, achieved.

I know it's not fair to blame everything on them. It sounds like it but I don't mean that. We and only we are responsible for the choices we make in life. And I never bothered to have a serious passion, which I regret very much today, but it's all my fault for being so casual and lazy.

Bottom line is.. I want to go one step ahead of my parents and encourage my children to be passionate about something and work hard on it. I would like to expose them to all options in skills/sports/academics etc, and let them choose what catches their fancy. And then be after them to not get lazy about their chosen passion. I know it sounds nasty, but at the cost of being labelled a strict/bad/dominating/hitler mom by my peers or family, this is one thing that I have decided I will do.

Apart from of course. . My house my rules.. for 18 years my kids HAVE to live by my rules. Which means I decide schedules and permissions and possessions etc. If its acceptable well and good, if not you are free to leave. My mom was a strict mom who didn't coochie coo us at all. While I may be a little more affectionate towards my kids, I'm gonna be a strict disciplinarian for sure, the bad cop. And I don't mind. I think it's required. One has limited control over children, especially these days. You have only a few years to mould them into responsible, disciplined individuals. Once they grow up they're on their own, forever.

So I guess I'm neither a proper Tiger mom nor a Dino mom, but somewhere in the middle, maybe leaning towards Dino mom :-)

Tackling the bottle: Tips for bottle feeding babies

Breast is by far the best food for your baby. But for whatever reasons if and when you shift partially or fully to formula feeding, one of the most popular ways to feed formula is through a feeding bottle. Once you have chosen to introduce bottle feeding, you should get some bottle feeding basics right, so that you and your baby become comfortable with the whole process.

Choosing a bottle and nipple: 
From glass to plastic, there are a number of materials and brand option in the market today.  Choose a material you can afford and maintain hassle free. Bottles are long lasting and you can easily use them for 3-6 months depending on the care. Nipples need to be changed at least every 3 months, not just for size but also hygiene.

Maintenance and storage:
Bottles and nipples need to be cleaned with a baby stuff cleanser and brush every day, and sterilized before every use for best results. For sterilization, you can use an electric or microwave sterilizer, sterilizing liquid/tablets or boil in water traditionally, though that may lead to yellowing of nipples/bottles. After sterilizing, you can store bottles in your room in a comfortable temperature, or in the fridge.

Tips for bottle-feeding:

1. Try to give warm milk instead of room temp or cold – babies prefer warm to cold. At the same time don’t get them too used to it that they don’t drink until its warm – could be a problem when travelling.

2. Don’t let the baby sleep while feeding; keep tickling them to wake them up. Also, keep tapping the bottle on the side or bottom and keep rotating the bottle every now and then to remind the baby to drink.

3. Choose the flow of the nipple as per age and comfort with feeding speed of the baby. Sometimes when a baby doesn’t feed for too long and therefore doesn’t get enough nutrition, choosing a faster flow nipple helps.

4. Like the breast, a bottle nipple also should also be completely in the baby’s mouth. Ensure that to maintain a steady feeding rate. However, keep removing the nipple every now and then to tackle vacuum build-up.

5. Raise the head slightly for easy feeding, especially for babies less than 4 months/those who don’t have neck control yet.

6. Always prepare more formula than the baby’s regular amount. If s/he finishes and wants more, you will waste time making again but by then their hunger will be gone.

7. Talk or sing to the baby, encourage and appreciate him/her while feeding so they feel good about feeding and feed well instead of throwing tantrums or being fussy.

8. Burp the baby well enough so that s/he doesn't feel unwell or gassy, and refuses to feed due to that. Make the baby do gas relieving exercises and in worst cases, use colic medication as per your pediatricians advice.

9. You can feed expressed breast milk through bottles as well. Just ensure you refrigerate the milk if you want to store, and use within 24 hours. You can also freeze breast milk for longer storage. You can milk breast milk and formula, but if the baby doesn't finish the feed, remember the leftover breast milk goes waste.

Always listen to what your baby needs. Go with the flow. Keep the basics and tips in mind and you will definitely have a smooth sailing feeding experience!

The formula of feeding formula!

In the olden times, when a mother couldn't or didn't want to feed, she had the option of wet nurses, mothers who were employed to feed others’ babies. With changing times, feeding options for mothers have changed as well. Today the most popular, safe and nutritious alternative to breastfeeding is formula.

There is no doubt, that in the first 6 months, breast-milk is the best for a baby.  WHO recommends exclusively breastfeeding a baby till 6 months and then continuing as a supplement until 2 years or more if desirable. However, there can be a number of reasons why a mother shifts to formula, partially or fully. The inability to feed from mother’s or baby’s side, mother or baby not together for a long period of time, mother wanting to wean baby early due to work or other commitments, etc. Whatever be the reason, today a mother need not worry about her child’s health and nutrition, thanks to formula.

So where do you begin?

Choosing, storing, preparing formula:
There are a variety of formula brands available in India. Your pediatrician, friends and family can help you choose a good option. Sometimes a particular brand doesn't suit the baby, so keep your options open. Finalize a brand based on suitability, budget, availability etc.
Once you buy a box, remember to keep it sealed in an airtight container, and use the contents before expiry date. If you use formula sparingly, donate partially used formula to mothers who can’t afford it or a puppy/kitten shelter before expiry.
Always remember to follow the formula preparation instructions properly when making it, to avoid over/under nutrition and/or infection. Also some formula brands have probiotics which die if exposed to very high temperatures, so be careful to use only lukewarm water and never cook prepared formula. Remember – use formula within half an hour of preparation and discard any leftover formula immediately.

Choosing a feeding medium:  
There are a number of ways in which you can feed your baby. Most parents choose a bottle, but one can also opt for spoon or palada. Choose an option that is best suited to your and baby’s comfort. It is easier to shift to sippy cup/ tumbler feeding when using a spoon/palada¸ but bottle is fine as well. However it is suggested to get your child weaned off from bottles by age 1 to avoid teething and other problems.

Benefits of formula feeding:
• other family members like father, siblings, relatives can be involved in feeding process
• formula fed babies are fuller, and sleep longer especially at nights
• intake can be easily monitored and mother isn’t tied down 24x7
• no interference in dietary, birth control and clothing choices

If you go the formula way in a proper hygienic manner, there is no reason your child won’t be as healthy, happy and satisfied as a breastfed baby. Whether the reason to choose formula was voluntary or involuntary, never feel guilty or depressed: you are in no way second class to women who choose to and are able to breastfeed their children. You are an amazing mother who knows what is best for her baby, and your

baby will love you just as much!