Abortion: Pro life or Pro choice?

Abortion, or medical termination of pregnancy, is one of the most widely debated topics around the world, related to parenting. The phenomena isn't just a physical process - it is also an emotional, social, moral, legal and in many countries - a religious concept.

Around the world, most developed first world countries have judged abortion to be legal on request. In South America, Africa and parts of Asia it is illegal with exceptions for certain factors like health risks for mother/child, rape etc. Few countries in the world have formally banned abortion. But many cultures strongly discourage abortion, including birth control.

In India, under the MTP Act of 1971, abortion is allowed only for certain circumstances, like:
- risk to maternal health
- possibility of severe mental or physical disability of the child after birth
- pregnancies due to rape, in unmarried girls or lunatics, or due to contraception failure

But the biggest problem in India is gender selective abortion - aborting gild children deliberately for want of boys, due to social pressure, In the past, many a female foetus have been aborted. As a result today determining sex of foetus before birth is a punishable act for both the parents and doctors; and many doctors refuse to abort if the foetus is female.

Thankfully things aren't as bad as in some countries where abortion is considered murder and therefore is a sin or illegal, even at the cost of the mother's life. However we still aren't really pro-choice. If a woman chooses to abort for reasons other than those listed above, she is looked don upon. Yes, childbirth is a miracle and children are a gift, but ultimately it should be up to the woman to decide if she wants to give birth to and bring up a child or not, since she is most definitely the most important stakeholder, the primary caretaker.

What other reasons can a woman have to abort? Unhappy marriage or domestic issues, financial problems - to name some. Whatever be the reason to abort, if a woman thus chooses, she should be given the benefit of doubt and allowed to exercise her right to make her own choice. It is better to abort a child than to force someone not ready to have it, and be unhappy or regretful forever.

Even if we make such reasons insufficient for abortions, it does not mean abortions wont happen. Since time immemorial women have been inducing abortions whenever required. And in many cases they use unsafe surgical or medical ways to abort which lead to much more risk to their life. Better to allow them to abort in a safe and hygienic environment.

So in this debate I am definitely pro-choice. In my opinion, it is the most beneficial solution for everyone. I have a child of my own and I can imagine it is never easy for a woman to make such a decision, When she does, give her support, she needs that more than anything else!

The truth about baby pees and poops

Often times we can get to know a lot about our baby’s health just by looking out for signs in their urine and stool. Some quick things to check for when you change your baby can help diagnose issues faster:

Baby pee: 

• During summers babies perspire more and may produce a little dark urine. If the pee is very dark or pinkish there may be blood in the urine or some other issue. 
• A little smell of ammonia is common when you change a baby after long, especially in the morning. However if it’s very strong and persistent your baby might be suffering from UTI. 
• As babies grow older they don’t pee as frequently. Some babies stop peeing at night very early on. However if you baby is less than 6 months of age and hasn’t peed for more than 6 hours during the day, he might be dehydrated. 

Baby poo: 

• Slightly formed, yellow to brown to green stools are normal for breastfed and formula fed babies. However if they’re watery and much greener than usual, then it could be diarrhea. Black poop may be due to iron consumption. If the poop is like hard pellets and makes the baby cry out in pain, your baby may be constipated. 
• Baby poo colour, texture, smell and frequency change when a baby starts solids. It is common for high fibre foods to come out as is in the poop for a baby on solids. Generally mucous in the poop isn’t a cause for concern but sometimes it could signify some infection. Babies on solids have smellier and more solid poops. 
• As far as frequency is concerned, every baby has a different pattern. But generally breastfed babies poop more often than formula babies, with the latter sometimes going days without pooping. It doesn’t always mean they’re constipated. However you may consider giving prune juice or suppositories to babies who haven’t pooped in a long time, as recommended by the doctor. 

Keeping these pointers in mind whenever you change your baby’s diaper is helpful. But whenever in doubt, do not hesitate to call your doctor – better be safe than sorry.

Diaper bag essentials: What to pack?

So, are you ready for your first outing with the baby? Make this exciting trip memorable, but for the right reasons. If you’re not adequately prepared, you may end up having a nightmare. Some essentials that you must carry to ensure a smooth day-out experience:

• Diapering needs – carry enough diapers, factor in unexpected poops. Make sure you have wipes, disposable bags, diaper changing mats, rash cream etc. if you’re visiting a mall etc., look out for baby rooms – changing and feeding babies there is much easier. 
• Breastfeeding aides – if you breastfeed, carry a cloak to cover up if you’re required to feed in public. If you express, make sure you carry pumped milk in clean containers in an icebox to maintain its shelf life. 
• Formula needs – if your baby is formula fed, ensure you carry enough boiled and cooled water, formula and sterilised bottles. If you’re carrying fewer bottles than you might need, ensure you have means to sterilise them if required to re-use. Else buy disposable inserts. 
• Clothes etc. – carry an extra change of clothes, or two. Carry extra napkins, bibs, burp cloths, and a blanket or wrap to cover or swaddle the baby with, if required. . A cosy baby is a happy baby. 
• Toiletries and medication – you may want to carry baby sunscreen/moisturiser or mosquito repellent cream if going out. A few emergency medications, like nasal drops, crocin, colicaid, etc. can come in handy, and so can anti-bacterial/fungal ointments and thermometers. It may be highly improbable your child will need all this but better be prepared. 
• Food – if your baby has started having solids, you can carry some easy to feed finger foods like carrot sticks, rotis or sandwiches, homemade cookies etc. You may also consider ready-to-eat baby food jars or cereal if there are no other alternatives. Ensure the food is packed hygienically in airtight/clean bags/boxes and leftovers are discarded immediately. For older babies remember to carry a sippy cup (if they have started using one) to keep them hydrated. 
• Miscellaneous - It helps to carry some toy or rattle as a form of entertainment or distraction for the babies, especially when they’re ready to throw a fit. You may also want to stash a sling in there as an option if there’s space – carrying a baby in that is easier than holding him. Mommies can also store their wallets/phones or maybe a snack or two in the spacious pockets. 

It might take a few tries but soon enough you will be a pro at packing the perfect diaper bag for you and your baby!

(image courtesy www.freeimages.co.uk)

Tips for conception

For women, understanding basics of conception and your body will lead you to achieving your desired results faster and more efficiently, sans the emotional stress.

For starters, track your menstrual cycle, and understand ovulation, the key to conception. In simple words, ovulation is the phase of the menstrual cycle where partially matured eggs are released by the ovaries for fertilization by sperm. It is a time in you cycle when chances of intercourse leading to pregnancy are highest.

Typically for a 28 day cycle, ovulation occurs between day 10 and day 16, from the day the period started. Some women know when they are ovulating, due to symptoms like whitish discharge, body temperature, heightened sexual drive etc.

But if you are not one of them, all is not lost. There are other ways to know your dates. You can use an ovulation calculator (link) or an ovulation kit available OTC at most chemists these days. In case that doesn’t help, or you are still not sure, you can try intercourse after your periods end, for 2 weeks.

Tips for intercourse: Do it every alternate day, instead of every day. It gives time for sperms to regenerate, and anyway sperms are alive inside the woman for up to 48 hours and eggs are alive for 72 hours.

As far as positions are concerned, it is suggested that using the missionary position, and lying still for at least 10 minutes post intercourse, helps in better transportation of sperms into the uterus. However do not worry too much about positions. It is more important to enjoy the act than lose sleep over technicalities/

At the end of the day, trust yourself and listen to your body – you will know when to do it, and you will also be the first person to know you have a little peanut inside you! Good luck!

Dealing with infertility

Whenever you plan to have a baby, it comes with a lot of emotion. Before you are even pregnant you might have already started thinking of decorating the baby room, finalising names, thinking of your life ahead with the little one… and it is disappointing when you realise you haven’t become pregnant the first time you tried. 

Most people, even perfectly healthy ones, can take up to a year to get pregnant. But there is a good chance you already know that, so you try again. And again. And again. But no good news. At this point, it’s a good idea to take medical help to conceive. There are a number of options available which the doctor will consider based on the results of the various tests and physical examinations of the couple, like:

• Lifestyle modification: the female is asked to get her weight in check - for every kg lost, the chances of conception increase dramatically 
• Fertility drugs: women typically take prescribed medicines for 5 days starting from the 3rd day of the menstrual cycle. Even men may be prescribed supplements for increasing the mobility and production of sperms if the need be 
• Removal of tubal blockage: Fallopian tubal blockage can be diagnosed by methods like using dye or saline water injections. Laparoscopy is done to remove blockage if any 
• Follicle Egg Monitoring: The monitoring is done via ultrasound to ensure ovulation and intercourse are timed correctly 

But every now and then there are cases of people who are perfectly ok but still can’t conceive. In such cases, many couples opt for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). IVF is a treatment for fertility where eggs and sperms are extracted from a couple’s bodies, fertilised in a laboratory, and reinserted in the uterus for maturing. IVF services are available through many clinics across all major cities. However, do ensure you choose a reputed fertility clinic, as assisted reproductive methods are time consuming and expensive, and lack of results can lead to further frustrations.

There are cases where IVF is not possible, desirable or affordable, or where medically it’s not possible for either partner to reproduce. In such cases there are other options, like surrogacy, artificial insemination and adoption available.

If you are going through infertility, discuss it with your partner and your doctor for choosing the right option for you. Many doctors believe that apart from medication, a stress free life is extremely critical for conception as stress can make the hormones run haywire. Therefore, simply enjoy the intimacy with your partner and don’t let the treatment become a chore.

If required, take counselling sessions to deal with your emotional trauma, exacerbated by social pressures of India, so that once you do have a baby through any method, you are healthy and happy to receive it. Remember, irrespective of whose sperm/eggs are used, or which uterus the baby matured in, the moment you have a baby, it is yours and yours alone, and you are a parent, for life. Don’t let anyone take that away from you!

(image courtesy www.freeimages.co.uk)

Readiness Checklist for Pregnancy

Once as a couple you have decided to go for a baby, the most important aspect of preparation is getting your body ready for conception. Though it is the woman who conceives and carries a child for 9 months, there are certain responsibilities of the man as well. Men and women should tick off the following from their to-do list before they start trying for a child:

1. Quit smoking and drinking, cut down on caffeine – consumption of alcohol and cigarettes, as well as caffeine adversely affects ability to conceive.
2. Control chronic diseases like diabetes, thyroid issues, hypertension etc. to improve your chances and avoid complications. If you’re suffering from any conditions, like UTI etc. get them cured before you start trying.
3. Achieve ideal weight in case you’re overweight – the more you lose, the more your chances increase to conceive.
4. Find a good doctor/gynaecologist, check your family and pregnancy history and scan for potential issues. Get a genetic screening done if required and update your immunizations.
5. Visit the dentist and ophthalmologist– pregnancy aggravates dental problems and some women may even experience vision changes. Best to get both eyes and teeth checked before you conceive.
6. Start eating healthy, take multivitamins and avoid any stress – a healthy lifestyle will go a long way in helping you during and post pregnancy. Chart out low sugar/salt etc. diet if you foresee chances of/ suffer from hypertension/diabetes etc.
7. Get rid of the contraceptives – throw out the pills or devices a couple of months in advance so that your body get used to its natural cycle.

Most importantly, stay positive and be patient. A happy mind leads to a healthy body, healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby. Good luck!!

(image courtesy www.freeimages.co.uk)